Greatest Jokes about Erap
Joke #8: SAVE
FVR, Cory and Erap, are about to be executed in front of a firing squad. Each of them is blindfolded and given the chance to call upon the forces of nature to save them. The executioner starts the countdown: ‘10, 9, 8,….’.
FVR shouts, ‘Flood!’. In a sudden, a big wave came. FVR was able to escape because of the commotion.
It’s Cory’s turn. She shouts: ‘Earthquake! ‘. The people watching the execution panicked. She was able to escape.
Erap was wondering what calamity to call. The executioner started counting again: ‘10, 9, 8, 7….’. Erap had a mental block. ‘5, 4, 3, 2, 1…’
Erap shouted: ‘Fire!’.
Joke #9: ERAP IN LIBRARY
Erap in Library
‘What time does the library open?’ Erap on the phone asked.
‘Nine A.M. ‘ came the reply. ‘And what’s the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?’
‘Not until nine A.M.?’ Erap asked in a disappointed voice.
‘No, not till nine A.M.!’ the librarian said.
‘Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?’
‘ha, who said I wanted to get in?’ Erap sighed sadly. ‘I want to get out!’
Joke #10: IN LABOR
One particular day many years ago, Erap’s wife was having labor pains.
Erap panicked so he called their doctor.
Erap: Hello, doc. My wife is in labor!
Doc: Is she in a lot of pain?
Erap: Yes, doc!
Doc: Is this the first baby?
Erap: No, doc. This is Erap!
Joke #11: ANOTHER EXAMPLE
Teacher: (talking to ERAP) Can you give me an example of a beast of burden?
ERAP: Carabao, ma’am! Teacher: Very good, ERAP. Can you give another example?
ERAP: How about another Carabao?
Joke #12: TESTING
As Erap’s Driver test drive it.
Driver to Erap: Sir, pweding pakitingin kung umiilaw yung parking light as driver switches on the parking light)
Erap: OK, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir, yung headlights, umiilaw ba? (as driver switches on the headlights)
Erap: OK rin, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir yung signal light pakitingin? (as driver switches on the signal light)
Erap: Gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw…….
Joke #13: WA CLASS
Reporter to Erap alighting from a PAL flight: ‘Mr. President, what can you say about the economy?’
Erap: ‘I don’t know, kasi nasa first class ako.’
Joke #14: KAMUKHA DAW
Jingoy: Dad, sabi nila pagnakaharap ako kamukha ko si Jose Rizal, pag-nakaside view kamukha ko naman si Manuel Roxas. Anong ibig sabihin yon?
Erap: Mukha kang pera.
In an emergency room…
Erap: Doctor! Doctor! I swallowed a bone
Doctor: Are you choking?
Erap: No, I’m serious!!!
Erap while still in Gradeschool:
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Erap: Eh, di 9.
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Erap: Gagaguhin ninyo pa ako, eh binaligtad ninyo lang, eh di 6!!!
While in Drugstore:
Erap: I’d like some vitamins for my Grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Erap: It does matter, cause he can’t read yet!!!
While in a state visit to Washington, D.C.:
Bill Clinton: You know, we Americans hate you Filipinos going TNT in our country. Sorry if I’m Frank.
Erap (shocked): It’s Okay, I thought you were Bill!!!
While hailing a taxicab in Makati:
Erap: Magkano papuntang San Juan?
Driver: Ikaw lang bang mag-isa?
Erap: Bakit, di ka ba sasama?
While in Luneta:
Erap: Bro. Mike, can prostitute be saved?
Bro. Mike: Siyempre!
Erap: Sige, I-save mo ako para sa Sabado nights
While in Pizzeria:
Erap: What are your specialties?
Waiter: Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza.
Erap: Talaga?, bigyan mo ang ako ng Shakeys!!
Erap calling U.P. Diliman:
Erap: Hello! Is this Diliman?
Operator; No, this is Padre Faura!
Erap: I’m sorry father, wrong number!!!
Greatest Jokes of Erap from greatest living Filipino jokes of the greatest living Filipino